Punch That Whore in Her Whore Face

What's In Your DVD Player? And what does it say about you? When I walk into someone's house it's one of the first things I look at. It's a litmus test of good personality. I look in, on and around their entertainment console area for a tell tale stack of DVDs. I don't look at their collection as a whole as this can be misleading. People will own almost anything, and you can't account for the tastes of gift givers.

What you want to see is what they choose to actually watch. Nowadays most people have a multi-disc changer. I have a stack of 5. Right now, in my movie machine, there is Batman: The Dark Knight Rises, Love Actually, Inception, The Hobbit and Hot Fuzz. Now, I'm me, so I know me pretty well. And all that I can suss from this list that I'm a nerd.

But let's try to put our Someone-Who's-Never-Met-Me hat on for a moment. I see Batman there on the top of the pile (I still haven't seen this movie P.S., it's been in there since it came out on DVD but we don't know that.). This tells me that I like gritty adventure movies, and more specifically Batman. Therefore I may be a comic book fan in general. Perhaps I just like BDSM.

Next up I see Love Actually. That's an odd follow up, huh? So I like rom coms. Maybe I'm not too proud of that and I shouldn't try to make conversation about it with me because it will just get awkward quickly. Maybe I have a huge crush on Colin Firth. Maybe I want to punch that Portuguese whore in her whore face for talking ugly to that which is mine. More likely it's because I'm a huge Walking Dead fan and enjoy watching the softer side of Andrew Lincoln. Again, we come to the natural conclusion that I am a huge nerd.

Inception is an artistic and thought provoking film made of elaborate and intellectual twists and turns. It encases some of the best performances squeezed out of some of the best actors of the moment. It's also a wicked funny internet meme.

We need to go deeper. Inception stars the guy who played Scarecrow from Batman Begins. It also stars the exceptional Joseph Gordon Levitt of Third Rock from The Sun fame. If we put those two facts together and mash them around in the alternate time line blender we discover that I am, in fact, a huge nerd.

The last two movies are The Hobbit and Hot Fuzz, so let's just skip the breakdowns and crusty jugglers and say that I'm a huge nerd. And maybe I'm not the best example of this personality deduction technique. However if someone is obviously engaged in watching Howard The Duck, Showgirls and Gigli you might want to reconsider your friend group.